Reset, Yet Again

my energy is for me and me only. I am cutting the flow now. I am not the harsh ugly thing that y’all love to make me out to be.

i am the sweetest and softest ting and ya will squeeze me flat of my marshmallow fluff if I let you.

my saccharine sweet is hands off.

if you are someone who can actually make work and funding opportunities happen for me, then reach out.

go to my thoroughly curated website, not these boring colonial square space sites that EVERYONE HAS.

what I really want to do is take this next year off.

and not want.

let me rephrase. I am taking this next year off.

i will explore, travel outside of turtle island, learn, document and I want the funding to do so in order to fully develop Litm(us), The Dom(free),  and The Body Electric Fungi curriculum along with other endeavors.

i am going to South Afrika before the end of this year. Ancestors and spirit called me home in 2023 and I am answering that call in full.

i know it is what is meant for me.

this is meant for me.

and this next year and the remainder of my life is all mine.

to heal means you have to be willing to let the practitioner do their job.

you all don’t want to learn, change, or actually heal. you have no desire to be dom(free). you love the whips and chains of empire. it’s your actual k¡nk

you don’t want to actually move out of the way and let those lead, who are meant to, instead of those who have always been.

the theft of Blackness across the board makes me sick. i am not for sale.

y’all want to continue to be the persons of lack you have always been, hiding behind a profile page and surface level understanding of everything and nothing.

all you palest¡ne people and associates unfollow me.

y’all are more concerned about an abusive chaos gremlin who has deactivated their account and escaped into their privelage and everyone is crickets. nada said to me at all.

what about them 30 families she kept bragging about?

this person has a history of causing deep harm to Black bodies. It’s known, but everyone is just out here protecting themselves.

the self loathing shame ya’ll hold. i don’t collaborate with cowards.

we move too fast and skip to many steps.

where does that leave the people who are actually here and ready to do the work, who have been doing the work?

who don’t get to disappear while being held to and unrealistic standard.

all any of you can do right now if you want me to return to the work of community, that i am meant to do, is support my actual time off.

I have been pushing in full for the last 2 years. For 2 people and then some.

so again buy or circulate jewelry, which 2 people have done, once.  i have a whole

host of other skill sets backed by two degrees. hire me, donate, purchase, or go away.

11k is the ask

deadline August - the end of of Leo season

some of yall owe me for free healing work and energy theft

this acts as your invoice

i’m done talkin. i will post when I feel like it. again, learn to engage my website.

to those you all who have been stealing my jewelry designs, who are also associated with that gremlin, or have been trying steal and understand my technique. there is a whole internet. techniques galore for you to develop your own. i don’t get it.

asking sly questions so you can use it on your work. your work will never be mine. no matter how hard you try. and if you do, it will always feel and look like a fraud. wanna have fake deep convos and see what you can extract.

my mind is too weird. what you think you have, you likely don’t. be careful playing in my fire. I wouldn’t advise it.

donate

and when I say donate I don’t mean those of ya’ll who don’t even have it to give. please stop. because it’s a performance as well.

i mean those of ya’ll who spend your time extracting from Black bodies on this platform.

those of y’all with AAVE and ebonics on the tongue regularly.

those who have coin just chillin in the bank who were willing to thrown coins at chaos gremlin but every-time you see someone like me asking it suddenly becomes a complicated decision.

you suddenly have a budget or can’t seem to find the care at all.

or you think I owe you something in exchange.

please continue to unfollow me as I am

continuing to unfollow y’all

follow directions

there will be more info when I decide I want to share

y’all want my skillset which includes all of me?

then you will have to show me actually.

do I believe you can, absolutely not.

I have faith in me, how could I have faith in y’all?

i’ve been consistent AF

this ain’t goin on gofund me

this is a direct fundraising endeavor as it always is

$thekiingcurry

@kiingcurry

paypal beadandcowrie@gmail.com

circulate it. be consistent. put it on calendar and weekly reminder. which very few of you can do when it comes to me.

UPDATED BOUNDARIES

this is NOT a mutual aid account and I will not be sharing mutual aid for anyone, ever.

DO NOT send it and do not ask me, especially not offline. Cross this boundary and you will

lose access to me.

i am not looking for friends, relationship, or community.  I have spent the last 5 years and the majority of my life showing up for everyone except myself and then being bullied, as if I am the problem.

my cup is empty. This last misuse has depleted me. either pour in or go away.

i am not the problem, but hollow people who get to come here and play pretend are, and that’s the majority not the minority.

running the receipts doesn’t matter. but I have them and a mile long for al y’all’s favorites.

i am tired of ya’ll cosplaying in my skin and my energy. y’all spend so much time trying to erase me and be me all in one fell swoop. hella weird.

my relationship with most of you is surface level.    you found me cause you need healing. i can see your pain and the healing that you require and you want to continue to pull from my energy and lie as if i can’t see the full truth, while skirting healing.

i am not interested. that’s a dangerous game. when you’re actually ready to heal. holla at me.

those of you from the global south who have partners and spouses who are vanilla ice thrice.

you need too pump your brakes around me. I am

not impressed or oblivious. it’s not a flex.

i spend my time in relationship with most of you in order to help fill you up and temporarily restore you. The t¡tty is closed.

i am tired of relationships where I have to pull folx up with me that is not friendship. this cat hath birthed no babies.

i am poor and always have been, no matter how composed I may seem.

no matter how eloquent my words, no matter how educated.

i am not privileged and have never had access to it. I am gifted and that is how I made it through those endeavors, and def not unscathed.

it’s weird how ya’ll just expect to rebound without doing the work. and you expect me to help. for free. absolutely not. you got questions. you pay. periodt.

there is not any aspect of this journey that I haven’t been through the depth of. I haven’t been able to skip any steps. but the way y’all think you are entitled to and that you can steal bits of other people journey to make yours happen faster, is fraudulent.

no matter what any of you all may think we are not the same or similar. I stand alone. I stand tall and speak wide in reality.

i am not like you, we are not similar, and I have a bad habit of lowering and extending my energy to hurting people by default because I want y’all to feel held and seen.

because I was once there. I am not any longer. I have healed the depth of my hurt, though always healing.  I am not running, or holding secrets and shame of generational trauma any longer.

no more theft.

See(d) Yourself.